Carb-Loading

Eventually I'm going to have to stop eating leftover mashed potatoes and cake for lunch and dinner in the name of  "carb-loading". I've got to get it in my mind right this minute that eventually is now instead of when there is no more left. For Thanksgiving this year, my contributions were slow-cooker creamed potatoes [real potatoes, none of that flaky business in a bag], scratch biscuits for the dressing, sausage balls for the pre-party, and pumpkin bread. So really, I contributed starch. To use my grandma's expression "it was good, even if I did make it." I love cooking and baking. I actually prefer baking to cooking because with baking you have to be more precise by following the directions exactly. Oh how I love a good set of clear directions with a known outcome. I especially love cooking and baking for the people I love the most. I'm a nurturer so it's another way for me to take care of them. You know, by filling them full of sugar and cholesterol in the name of love. 

Anywho, Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't even post anything about gratitude or all the things I've been blessed with. It's not that I'm not grateful and goodness knows, I've been blessed. But honestly, I spent a lot of last week thinking about those folks who are in their first round of holidays with an empty seat at the table. I have a precious, precious friend in this season right now and I wish so badly I could just fast-forward through it for her and make it all better. Typically when we think about "firsts", they are milestones that we want to celebrate and remember forever: first steps, first day of school, first kiss, first date, etc. The first "without" events though are a little different. Until you've been through a round of them, you don't really know how to address them with people in the middle of living them. And still because we're all different and we all grieve and heal differently, there's no prescribed one-size-fits-all method. For me, the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without dad wasn't really as hard as I was anticipating it. I think it's because everyone around me was on watch to make sure I was busy and occupied. And I kept myself busy and occupied through making sure mom and the boys were occupied. I was planning on it being tough so when the days came and went, it really wasn't. However, I was totally unprepared for the first birthday that rolled around when daddy didn't call me first thing in the morning to wish me a happy birthday. That was the toughie for me. And we're not even huge birthday people, but missing that standard real life moment that I had always counted on is what serves as the greatest reminders of loss for me. The sting of it never goes away completely, but I'm so thankful that God has given us the capacity to celebrate in the midst of sorrow. Our hearts can simultaneously break with grief and burst with love. I cannot help but think that our loved ones hope that the love we feel far surpasses the grief we bear. For those of not in that season right now, but know someone who is, I think all we can do is love them. Consistently. And treat them like they are normal people. Because they are normal people. Don't be afraid to ask about how they are doing, but don't feel silly for asking if they saw that commercial on television for Sears that looks like a movie-trailer too. [Which speaking of, have you seen that commercial? Hilarious.]

I didn't intend on that little tangent when I sat down to write about excessive consumption of empty carbs, but I guess it needed to be said. Where was I? Oh yes, carb-loading. In 6 days I'm running my 5th half-marathon. The last one I ran was 3 years ago which means my knees are three years older. By no means am I old and I will absolutely get ticked off when some 68 year old sporty granny cruises right on by footloose and fancy free as I'm sludging through mile 11 as a reminder of my "youth". I'm starting to get that nervous feeling in my stomach. You know, like maybe I'm going to be that girl they have to cart off on a stretcher. Typically that anxiety doesn't set in until I'm all settled into my corral downing another salt pack.  What's that? Maybe that feeling in my stomach is a result of too much cake and mashed potatoes? I guess that's a possibility too.

Stay tuned. With any luck I'll finish the 13.1 in my best time yet, win a couple of grand in a slot machine [Is it possible for lightening to strike twice?!?!] and finally get a photo with Elvis. A girl can dream, can't she?