"Everything happens for a reason."

Is it just me or does this phrase go down about as smoothly as a glass of Florida tap water? In fact, whenever I hear it, I'm tempted to roll my eyes [IF I were one to roll my eyes]. No worries, I understand that it's a phrase of comfort that well-intentioned people usually resort to when the natural thing is to just stand there in silent and uncomfortable bewilderment because really no words seem appropriate for the particular circumstance. And surely there must be some reason why it has earned a spot on the Top 10 List of Most Trite Phrases. However, a few years ago I got really bold and brave and declared that I no longer believed that everything happened for a reason.

Before you cast me off as a heathen please allow me to explain myself. I came to this conclusion after a series of very unfortunate tragedies that effected the lives of some of my favorite people. These events were pointless. They were unexplainable and if only they had not happened, then I would not have had to stand-by helplessly and watch as people I loved dearly suffered and grieved. It might be easier to believe that everything happens for a reason if we could wake up the next day after an event that rocks our little world and have an executive summary that outlines all of the good to come waiting for us at the breakfast table. We modern day folks love instant gratification. I blame Al Gore and his invention of the Internet.

As we all know experience is the teacher that gives the test first and the lesson last. And let's just say that I've been schooled! My first 30 years were pretty much a walk in the park. Sure, I experienced a few bumps and bruises along the way, but up until last year I had never really been broken. When a girl loses the 2 most important and beloved men in her life within a year of each other though, it will most definitely get her attention. She'll begin to examine her beliefs much more closely because never in her life has she needed to believe in those beliefs more than she does now. [Can anyone please explain to me why I just switched from first to third person? I'm confident that happened for no good reason.]

I suppose it's a little ironic that when I wasn't directly impacted by the painful event it was easy to proclaim the senselessness of it, yet when in the middle of my own storm, the only thing that allowed me to get through it is the belief and hope that it's all happening for some reason. So like Baby's daddy told Johnny Castle at the end of the summer dance at Kellerman's..."When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." I realize that I'm not the only person who struggles with this concept of everything happening for a reason so allow me to share with you what brought me back to believing it. Other than the simple explanation of my heart feeling like it was splayed out in the middle of the connector on a Monday morning at 7:30.

Lately I've gotten really hung up on how our choices and God's will work together. As in, "what if I make the wrong choice...what does that do to God's will?" Wow. Someone is a little confident in her ability to chart the course of history. Who am I kidding? That's like throwing a minnow in a swimming pool and expecting all of the water to splash out of it as a result. And I'm pretty sure there's a whole big book written and placed in hotels all across the land that explain all of the reasons why I shouldn't take on that worry alone. You can read about who is really calling the shots here. It is confusing though because we do have our choices. I mean I don't think that God knew that Abraham would obey His call to sacrifice Isaac, the son for whom he had prayed and waited on until long after all of his pals were in assisted living facilities, until Isaac was actually bound and being placed on the alter. Abraham was that obedient to God, but what if he had said "heck no, he's mine now, I'm not giving him up!"? You know what though? It's not our job to figure out how or why...all we have to do is just believe it. This is a tough lesson for control freaks. I wouldn't know a thing about what it's like to be one of those though. So lately, I've learned [read: been forced] to let go. And do you want to know something, blogosphere? It. Is. Freeing. It sure does take a lot of pressure off of the Type A...HP. And besides, if we were the ones calling the shots, what need is there for grace? Or faith? Or redemption? Fortunately for us those little mechanisms were put into place long, long ago by the One with the authority to call the shots.

I still haven't really answered my question though of why I came to the conclusion that everything does in fact happen for a reason. Think about it like this. If I believe that there is a God who loves me so much that he would send his own son to give his life for little ol' me, then shouldn't he love me enough to prevent me from ever experiencing a single ounce of pain while living life here? Unless it was necessary. Or for a reason. Do parents allow their 4 year olds to call the shots about family matters like refinancing a home or changing jobs? Nope, because they know that they aren't mature enough to handle such decisions. Yet. When those same kiddos were even younger and learning how to walk, did their parents not have to let them fall and get bumps and bruises and scrapes along the way? Because if they didn't, then none of us would have ever learned how to walk. And could you imagine how silly we would all look crawling to the water cooler each morning at work? Sure, it hurts the parents to see their children hurt, but it's necessary pain. There's a reason behind it. Just like it hurts God to see His children hurt, but it's necessary pain. There's a reason behind it.

Of course there is always the question of what happens when we can't see the reason for our pain? And maybe we never see the reason. That's a tough reality to swallow, but do you really think Ruth knew she would be King David's great-grandmother? And then a bazillion years later be in the same family tree as Jesus himself? Or maybe if you're not up on your Bible trivia like I'm pretending that I am, let's put it into context using an example from the silver screen. Anybody out there ever seen the movie Love Actually? I can't believe that I'm using this as an example because it's one of my least favorite movies ever, which might explain a bit of my current circumstances, but I digress. We never know how our lives are being used for the greater good of the order. And with any luck, it's for something even better than Hugh Grant's happiness.