Monday, January 23, 2012

Confessions of a Closet Pack-Rat.

Remember that list of achievable ambitions that I so confidently listed for the entire blogosphere to read on the first day of 2012? Well, it just so happens that over the MLK, Jr. weekend, I decided that it was high time to make good on one of them. All of my closets have reached an unacceptable level of chaos. The worst one being the coat closet. Theoretically, the coat closet is the one closet in an entire home that should be kept somewhat orderly since that's the one guests are more likely to use and see. And it's all about putting up a good front and not letting visitors catch a true glimpse of the residents living in that home, now isn't it? Transparency was so early 2000s.

I am by no means in the closet about being a pack-rat. [I chose the term pack-rat over hoarder because hoarder sounded so negative, but referring to myself as a type of vermin doesn't exactly scream positive either.] I'm just at my best as a pack-rat when it comes to my closets.

I shamefully present to you Exhibit A:
I'm a little bit embarrassed that I just opened up my closet for the entire world [or my loyal 3 readers] to see. Welcome guests. It's a mess in here, but I'm sure if I try hard enough I can fit all of your worldly possessions into my closet for the duration of your visit.

Y'all. I don't really know what pushed me over the edge to where I reached the point of it finally being enough, but in true HP fashion it was probably something miniscule. You know, like I looked down to discover a safety pin or something on the floor. Who am I kidding? You can't even see the floor.

I am amazed at the stuff I found in there. Need an example or 12? Let's see, I found cough drops that expired in 2006. [For those of you keeping score: I didn't even live there in 2006 which means that I had obviously been lugging those jokers around from town to town with me for awhile. Especially considering cough drops have a shelf life of at least 32 years.] I found unsent greeting cards. One of which was a birthday card for my dad. [Let this be a lesson to you: when you buy a greeting card, mail it.] I found never given gifts. This included parts of a baby shower gift. [The intended recipient is now a toddler and also has a younger sibling.] Essentially, my coat closet was the place where my good intentions went to die. Until now.

I proudly present to you Exhibit B:
I feel like a whole new girl. Well, perhaps that's a bit dramatic, but at least I no longer have to battle inanimate objects each morning when I suit up to brave the cold outdoors. BTDubs, if you know of anyone who needs an umbrella, I have no less than a half dozen for sharing. See that pink tweed coat in the "before" picture? It's free to a good home if you're interested. It will be great for the nights that you hop into your Delorian and travel back to the time when tweed coats were cool.

My favorite discovery in the atrocity that was my pre-2012 coat closet? My long-last earbags. I misplaced them a couple of years ago, and to be honest, have mourned the loss of them each and every cold morning/afternoon/night that I've had to walk the pup. They are the most amazing and incredible ear warmers. Ever. And I'm not even getting paid for this endorsement. I was so very excited to find them that I immediately put them on and wore them around my apartment for a little while. Cash looked at me as if I had lost my mind which was really no different than any other Saturday afternoon.

The great coat closet clean-out has sparked some sort of reorganization firestorm in my life. I've declared 2012 the year of decluttering. I suspect that it will be such a success that in 2013, "decluttering" will be a new word added to the dictionary. Because the dictionary is something that needs no decluttering whatsoever.


Josh and Donna said...

oh i love my ear bags too! also, marah is in the market for an umbrella. if any of yours have ruffles, please let me know. we are interested in ruffled ones only.

MC Hammer, DJ Jazzy Jeff and EDT said...

I have a pink tweed jacket just like the one in your closet. That is a sign to me that i need to clean out too!!! I am so proud of your new closet! :) (I hope that I am on the list of 3 royal readers)
I am hoping to update my blog soon....that's my 2012 goal!