Are you gonna eat your tots?

Today I had the opportunity (this word is used very loosely here) to visit a high school for work. Back when I first became a professional working girl with income, recruiting high schoolers for the purpose of higher education was the way that I spent the majority of my work days. I loved it. And then after about a year I got really tired of living out of a suitcase so I switched to a more internal role. Which I loved even more so when I moved to another college, I was more than happy to remain a more "behind the scenes" type of person. Besides, I don't really like the combined aroma of tater tots and rectangular shaped pizza. Oh, did I neglect to mention that many of these school visits take place in high school cafeterias? Well, they do in case you were wondering why in the world I made mention of tots.

I'll tell you one thing...you can really learn a lot about today's youth by spending some time observing lunch time in a school cafeteria. Obviously I'm a little out of touch. Much more so than the high school letter jacket salesman and National Guard recruiter that I shared two hours of my life with earlier today. Kids today have it so much easier than I did. I had to go all the way to Marietta with my mama to order my letter jacket. Oh how I loved my letter jacket...I think I'm going to put it on and wear it around the house the next time I go visit my parents. Just to relive my glory days. Personally I take pride in the fact that I was the only softball player that had the sailor collar on her jacket. Let's just say that I wanted to make it very clear that even though I played softball, I was very much a girl. My coach especially loved that I got my nails done every two weeks during the season. Speaking of, I'm pretty sure I met the high school softball coach today. I can spot them a mile away. I digress. Kind of.

Anytime I'm in that kind of environment, naturally I think back to my own high school days. I pretty much hated high school. Since I graduated (er...almost 12 years ago)I have gone back to my school a handful of times. Each time I walk through those doors, all those feelings that I had for most of those 4 years come rushing back. Talk about anxiety attack waiting to happen. And what's terrible is that I had friends. And we were "cool". If I could write a letter to my high school self it would read something like this...

Dear Heather-
In just a couple of years you are going to realize how you worried so much over things that have so little significance. You will meet friends who will love you for you...not for what you think they want you to be. You should probably eat more than 900 calories a day because pretty soon you're going to freak yourself out when bad things start happening to your body due to lack of nutrition and too much exercise. Your class rank really doesn't matter either so lighten up a little bit. Those glasses you hate wearing so badly? You will not wear them forever. That terrible frizzy hair you fight with everyday? It'll calm down. That boy that you sneak rides home from school with without your mom knowing? You'll never hear from him again. He'll date one of your friends for about five minutes a couple of years after graduation, and you'll be jealous as all get out. But don't worry, he will be able to see through her very quickly. And guess what - your mom knows you are sneaking rides home with him. It's ok to talk to the kids that no one else talks to. You know how uncomfortable it makes you feel when they are being made fun of? Remember that feeling and disassociate yourself from the people who are so cruel. While these little lessons that you are learning now aren't easy and you feel as if your world is just going to end if your parents don't let you go to that party on Friday night, one day you'll be thankful that your parents said no. They are smart, and they will keep you from getting into all sorts of potential trouble. You might even thank them for it one day. Most importantly, trust me when I say that there is so much more to life than these 4 years.
Love,
Older, wiser, and wittier Heather

Honestly I wish that I could write so many letters to those kiddos that I observed today. Some need letters like I wrote myself. Others need letters telling them to get off their high horses. While others need letters that I don't even know how to begin. I saw a few kids today who just broke my heart. They were so alone. I couldn't imagine having to sit by myself at lunch. (Talk about a fate worse than death to a 17 year old Heather). And here these kids are who do it everyday. Probably not by their choosing either. Humans by nature are social creatures. We like to be near people. We need human contact and human touch. But these kids weren't just physically alone. They looked almost empty on the inside and that was the part that got to me the most. Other kids cruised right by them as if they were invisible. I wondered how many kids like that I cruised by on a daily basis while in high school. There was one little boy in particular sitting all alone at the end of table close to where I was "stationed". I didn't even notice him myself until I saw a teacher walking up. All she did as she walked by him was simply pat him on the arm and say hello. The kid lit up like it was Christmas morning. I was reminded right there how far simple acts of kindness can go. It really makes my heart heavy to know that there are kids in this world who are walking around without the kind of support system that I've always had. So instead of sitting around with a heavy heart and wringing my hands like a helpless little damsel, I'm going to work on showing kindness to those who need it the most. This will totally force me out of my comfort zone but that's ok. I pray already that my (future) kids will be well-adjusted socially, but now I'm going to also pray that they will show compassion towards those who are not.