Currently, I'm out of order. Three days ago I ran the dishwasher. It's difficult to put dirty dishes into a dishwasher that is still full of clean ones. I'm pretty sure my comforter is on my bedroom floor right now and my decorator throw pillows are buried under a pile of laundry, but I can't say for certain since I'm in the living room. As I look around the living room, I am happy to report that I see 3 pairs of shoes. I've no clue how many emails are in my work inbox, but I do know that I have 535 unread messages in my Yahoo! inbox. [Ridiculous. Embarrassing. Pathetic.] I know what you're thinking...she obviously doesn't love order all that much. But for me, it's all a matter of balance. It's all smooth sailing until I let one of the spinning plates fall, and when that happens the others inevitably come crashing down as well. Then I pick up all the pieces and start over again. Recently I've been struggling in striking a balance in one particular area of my life though. A couple of weeks ago, the series at church that just ended today was announced. As soon as I saw the title, I immediately got "church anxiety". You know...like I knew that I had to go and listen, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't really like what I was going to hear. The message series is entitled Boulevard of Broken Dreams and since Andy Stanley is a much better speaker about these kinds of things than I am [there's just something about divine inspiration], I would highly encourage you to click on the hyperlink and check it out for yourself.
Basically it is about what we, as believers, do when our dreams don't come true. How do we respond to that? Personally, I don't respond very well. Neither did David once upon a time. [And by David I mean King David. You know the one...He killed a giant with a stone and a slingshot, became the King of Israel, had an encounter with Bathsheba, had some misbehaved and misguided children.] Last week's message though was not about the stories that I am most familiar with in which David is the star. It was about when pre-King David was fleeing King Saul's army because he wanted David dead. What would you do if it had been prophesied that you would one day become King of Israel which at the time seemed like a complete long shot, but then over time things fall into place for it to actually happen and all of the sudden the current king wants you out? Essentially David took control of his own circumstances which only made things much much worse. I'm notorious for doing the very same thing myself. This week, the scriptural basis of the message was centered around Absalom's (David's son) attempt to overthrow him and become the next King of Israel. David's response was very interesting. Almost the exact opposite of how one might expect a powerful King to react even. Yet it's the very way that God wants us to react today when things don't go our way.
And this is where I'm having problem maintaining a balance of sort. All too often my faith in God is wrapped around my own hopes and dreams. If things are going my way, then God is good and it's easy to keep that faith. Yet when things do not go my way, my faith plummets. The reality is, nowhere do we receive any guarantee that all of our dreams will come true. Not even if Pedro is elected president. It's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I could possibly sign my checks the way that I do right now until I'm 83. I might not ever understand the pain and joy of motherhood. But it's true. However it's impossible for me to lose that hope that one day I will. See the quandary that I'm caught up in? It isn't easy to maintain that balance between the free will that God has given us and abiding by God's will for our lives. I hope to be able to do it one day.
2 comments:
great post! i'm definitely out of order now. :o)
Thanks for the advice, Heather! I never would have thought of that. And you are a mommmy...just to the canine type. :)
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