Tuesday, January 18, 2011

That time I went roller-skating with a bunch of strangers.

The date was January 18, 1998. It was 13 years ago today, but that particular year, the 18th was a Monday. Please allow me to take a moment to reflect on the fact that I was a freshman in college 13 years ago. Surely I was gifted and started college at age 12 because I don't feel a day over 25.
The Monday of MLK Weekend signifies Bid Day at good ol' NGCSU. It's a grand and glorious occasion where boys come out in droves to see which poor unfortunate girl will lose her footing and fall during her run down the hill to the drill field and collegiate women between the ages of 18 and 23 yell and cheer and paint their faces with their respective sorority colors to name just a few of the nonsensical activities. Please allow me to share my thoughts and views on Greek life in general before we delve any further into today's post. Do I believe that everyone should be in a sorority or fraternity? Nope. Do I believe that one can have fantastic college memories and find lifelong friendships outside of a Greek organization? Absolutely. Do I believe that all sororities are full of ditzy girls who make unfortunate life decisions as they are portrayed in the movies? Heck no. Did my personal experience in a Greek organization instill confidence and leadership skills in me and allow me to meet my very best friends in the whole wide world? Yes, indeed. I loved my time as Phi Mu at North Georgia. But I love the friendships that exist today as a result of my time as a Phi Mu at North Georgia even more. I learned about life with those girls. We did stupid and silly stuff like getting completely bent out of shape over something as trivial as a t-shirt design for an upcoming formal...among other things.
Because it's a reoccurring theme in my life these days, last night when I was thinking about Phi Mu and college and blah blah blah, I thought the choice that I had when deciding which group I wanted to join. During the last night of Rush, I attended two parties. One was Phi Mu and the other was well, another group. I had long decided that I was Team Love, Honor, Truth or nothing at all, but some girls like to play mind games. What? Girls playing mind games? Never!
At the other group's party, the girl that I was paired with told me her story of how she too really wanted to be a Phi Mu. And how she thought that they really wanted her to be a Phi Mu too, but something happened and then she didn't get a bid from them. The good news though was that she was completely ok with that because she found a home and lifelong friendships in the other group. [I know, I know...it's totally eye roll worthy but stay with me, I'm getting to the point.]
So I left that party feeling not so confident, and the choice which seemed crystal clear an hour before was a little cloudy. Even though I knew where I wanted to be and what "felt right" deep down in my getting-bigger-by-the-minute-because-I-was-a-freshman-in-college gut, doubt entered into the equation. The way I saw it, I could either go with the easiest and most direct route to the drill field by choosing "other group" or I could take the risk of sticking to my pink and white guns by holding out for what I knew was right even though there wasn't a guarantee I would have a lovely arrangement of pink and white carnations waiting for me the next day.
In the grand scheme of things, my time in a sorority in college is only a little blip on the screen that is the movie of my life. But the ripple effects last much longer. On Bid Day, I really and truly knew the names and faces of about 10 of the 70 or so sisters. In my Phi Class of 34, I knew faces but no names of only a handful. I literally went roller-skating that night with a bunch of strangers. But now 13 years, 5 bridesmaid dresses, and countless late nights of solving the world's problems one bottle of wine or roll of cookie dough at a time later, the risk of the unknown and of my plan not working out as I hoped and thought it should was absolutely worth it. In that group of strangers, I found friends who know me better than anyone else on this planet. We all face unknowns in life each day. How many times have we been tempted to settle for what's guaranteed and immediate even when we know deep down it isn't what is right? How many times have we taken the risk and in hindsight declared that the risk and uncertainty was absolutely worth it because the pay-off was so much greater? My hope is that we all risk more and settle less when it comes to decisions in life. I think that's step #1 in staying true to ourselves...and to the One who put us here in the first place.

3 comments:

Angel said...

why am i crying? oh, wait...two reasons.

1) i'm pregnant and emotional
2) i love my friends...

Melissa said...

I love this post, Heather! I was thinking about you this weekend during my once a year, "one night of sleep spread over three" visit to North Georgia College. I missed seeing you there!

Jeffrey & Katie said...

"Your birthday is March 8?"

"Huh, mine too!"

"Want to leave your keys in my room?"

"Sure."

What a great day!