Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Rejected at the Blood Drive

Since I work on a college campus, I am provided with ample opportunities to give the gift of life via blood donation. I've done it once. Shame on me. So today I decided to do a good deed and roll up my sleeves. Let's be honest, I really just wanted some Nutter Butters, and I didn't have change for the snack machine (kidding, kidding). I drank lots of water throughout the morning, ate a good lunch and marched over with the two Emilys at 1:00. I proudly handed my blood donor card (with the big fat "1" donation notation) to the Red Cross employee in order to begin the painful process of disclosing personal information such as my weight and whether or not I've had relations with a man who has had relations with a man who has had relations with a monkey on the continent of Africa anytime during the past 7 years to a complete stranger. Emily O-W decided to turn it into a contest and anyone who has ever played Taboo with me knows how I love to win. The goal was to have the highest hemoglobin count. Her's was high so she was feeling pretty confident until Emily K. came back with a crazy ridiculously high count. So then it was my turn. The pressure was on. First test - too low. I decided to be a trooper and try again. Still too low. Geez! Rejected at the blood drive. It's a-ok though and here's why:
  1. I still got Nutter Butters (a.k.a., consolation cookies).
  2. My blood type is AB-. Do you know how many people are AB-? Um, 1 person in 167. It's the most uncommon blood type. So one would think I need to give blood, right? Not really because the only people who can receive my blood are the other 100 AB- people out there. And we can receive from all the other negatives so whenever the Red Cross harasses others about giving blood, I never get the phone calls.
  3. It's necessary that I eat a steak, stat in order to boost my iron levels.


Jenny said...

I was anemic one time in high school. Do you know how much faster I ran when it got back up to where it was supposed to be? Let's just say I took about a minute and a half off my half mile in a matter of a couple of weeks. Seriously. It's crazy what iron can do for a body.

Suzanna said...

Caroline says she'll gladly give you her Poly Vi Sol that she has to take every night--especially since you offered to give her your calorie intake a few weeks ago.

Josh & Donna said...

iron? i hate ironing. my iron levels are low too.

Angel said...

I LOVE THIS POST! I was always rejected, too...and they didn't have nutter butters! Bummer. I got watered down lemonade and vanilla wafers as my prize for trying...enjoy that yummy steak!