"How Much Does It Cost?"

Whoever said "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" obviously was not a blogger. This weekend I went to the fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada with my friend, Jim. I haven't seen him in well over a year since he up and moved across the country to live in the Pacific Northwest. Personally I'm still trying to figure out what the Pacific NW has that Northeast Georgia doesn't have. Other than Mt. Rainier...or the San Juan Islands...or mild summers...or a bakery with awesome peach scones.

What a fun time we had in the Entertainment Capital of the World! Our first stop was Big Elvis at Wild Bill's Gambling Hall and Saloon. Honestly I think that he really is The King who is alive and well, but now he's simply operating under the guise of "Big Elvis" because he has an affinity for donuts.
Friday evening we went to see my long-lost brother over at the Luxor...
While there, we rubbed elbows with a famous rockstar... Ok, we didn't really rub elbows, but we did sit on the same row that he and his posse did. That's got to mean something, right? If any of my three readers out there can correctly identify said famous rockstar above, then I'll send you a prize.

Now, I'll be honest. I'm not much of a gambler. And by Saturday afternoon, I was receiving more confirmation that I should not become one anytime soon. (It took me losing $5 whole dollars in a slot machine to make this decision.) And whoever said that Vegas is cheap obviously never had to use the facilities at this place...

(I know...totally inappropriate but sometimes I just can't help but crack myself up.)

But I wasn't really in Vegas to win big. I was there for the atmosphere. Who knew that we would encounter a Chinese New Year Parade in the Venetian of all places...
Bad news about that chandelier. I just love walking through all of the casinos and seeing the details that are put into each one...
They are so big and ornate. Well, except for this casino...
Yes, it's got big and ornate too, but nothing that I am willing to feature on my PG rated blog. Let's just say that "PH" should stand for "promiscuous hot-little-numbers". It wasn't all bad there. But more about that in a moment.

Ok, Ok...the real reason why I went to Vegas was to show my support for Jim when he was crowned...
Don't even get me started on the fact that A.C. Slater was in the same town that I was on Saturday night. It's too much for me to handle. But probably not as much as it was for Jim to know that there were 51 (um...don't forget Miss District of Columbia) beauty pageant queens in the same town as he was.
Early Saturday evening, we went back to the Venetian to see Phantom. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. It's Vegas' take on Phantom of the Opera and to me it was just as good as the full musical. Have I mentioned that I'm a sucker for musicals? After Phantom was over, we headed North on the Deuce to "Old Vegas". Otherwise known as Fremont Street.
It was here that we got to see a "musical" that was probably a little more Jim's style. A tribute to KISS. We had to wait awhile for the tribute, but there was plenty of entertainment on Fremont Street to keep us occupied...
After Sassy Granny stopped dancing, I felt like trying my luck again at the slots (Because apparently losing 5 dollars just wasn't enough for me). We were standing outside between the Four Queens and the Fremont Casino and were debating about which one to go play. Jim asked "Which is more Vegas?". I shrugged my shoulders in typical "I dunno" fashion and headed right towards the Fremont.

We walked around for a minute or so and finally I sat down on the very end of a row of 4 slot machines. These were the "big money" slots at $1. Feeling adventurous I put in a $20. I played a couple of times and lost. Then on about the third or so round, I won back up to $29 dollars. So I was happy and cashed out with my big 9 dollar earnings. Honestly I don't really remember what happened next. I think I was looking for the cashier's window to collect my loot when I turned back around towards the machines I was just at, but I was more focused on the one at the end of the row. It was the weirdest feeling. (I know it sounds absolutely absurd, but trust me on this one.) Jim said "You're feeling lucky. You've got to play it." So I sat down and reached for my wallet to pull out my money when he reminded me that I could play my voucher I had just gotten from the other machine. So I put it in and pressed the button and what happened next is still pretty surreal. Let's just say that a bell started ringing and the little message that popped up on the screen said something to the effect of "Call Attendant to Collect Winnings". Um. What?!? Jim realized before I did that I had essentially won as much in 10 seconds than I usually earn in a month. (For all of you blog stalkers out there who do not know me but are reading this anyway, please note that I work for the state of Georgia so it's not worth trying to track me down for my "fortune") This is what a state of total shock with a dash of jet-lag looks like...
So as the attendant is collecting all my information to ensure that Uncle Sam gets his payday, she asked me if I would like a t-shirt. To which I replied "How much does it cost?". It still makes me laugh to think I asked that question. Luckily for me it was free!
After the grand finale of Rock-N-Roll All Night, we headed back to the Stratosphere to watch old people beg for oxygen at the closed Oxygen Bar.
Can someone please explain to me what an oxygen bar is? Is it to restore lung health for all us non-smokers as we walk through the casinos? My inquiring mind wants to know. Just when you thought I could not have another word to say about Vegas, you're wrong. We spent most of the day on Sunday in Planet Hookerwood. Because now that I'm a high roller with money to burn, it's only natural for me to invest in some property on the Vegas Strip. Not really. But for letting them try to sell us something, we got free credits to play slots with. It was the easiest $43.25 I've ever earned. We had more time to kill in the area because our dinner (at one of those amazing and great Brazilian steakhouses where they bring out all of the different meats on big skewers...yes, I realize I sound like a growing 17 year-old boy as I type this) and show were both at Planet Hollywood on Sunday night. While we waited, we braved the elements (low 50's...I quickly forgot that I left 30 degree temperatures in Georgia) to watch a couple of fountain shows at the Belagio. I love fountain shows. I'm easily amused. Which means that watching Mesmerized was right up my alley! It was a hypnotist show which totally took me back to my college days when ol' Tom DeLuca would come to North Georgia. But this character was much much better. It was so funny. (see last sentence in previous paragraph)
Now I'm home and it's back to reality. I'll be at the bank if you need me.