It's official: I'm allergic to Athens. I can't say that I'm surprised given the fact that I still say that I'm "new" in town. [Or perhaps that's just the denial that I'm planted here for 2 more years emerging.]
Having lived in Georgia oh, my entire life, I did not really understand what was happening last spring when the majority of my time was spent planning activities around my regularly scheduled dose of Claritin. Talk about a junkie waiting for her next fix.
Fortunately the arrival of my old friend, fall, and the long winter months enabled me to forget the misery that was spring 2008. Until this past Saturday when I woke up with a sore throat. Sunday afternoon at the dog park, I spent some time contemplating the effectiveness of ramming the end of a coat hanger inside my ears because they itched so bad. Ohh that itch...it went as deep as my brain, y'all. By Monday night the dry hacking cough set in. It's so dry and hacking that I wouldn't be surprised if people suspect that I am a new smoker who hasn't quite gotten that whole inhaling part mastered yet. Yesterday morning I mistakenly put sheets of sandpaper in my eyes instead of my contacts, and today the tumorysm came back. What is a tumorysm? Well, it's a self-diagnosed condition that is a combined brain tumor and aneurysm. You won't really find much about it on WebMD, but last spring when I fell victim to plant reproduction I coughed and sneezed so much that I got this terrible pain that shot through the left side of my head anytime I sneezed or coughed [or shook my head back and forth really quickly]. The good news is that it seems to be a seasonal ailment.
I think when I'm done with school I'm going to move to the desert. Nothing blooms in the desert right? Sure, I will probably contract a fierce case of melanoma if I happen to walk to the mailbox one day without slathering on the SPF 45, but it's a small price to pay in exchange of 3 months of sneezing, hacking, and being called four-eyes. Until then, I'll just spend time here in the local Outback.
4 comments:
OK, I have had similar ailments as I have been aging. I knew exactly what a tumorysm was when I read that. One time there was so much pressure behind my eye that I was sure I had a brain tumor or that my eye might pop out. This is what works for me: 1 Claritin, a dose of Mucinex, and some Tylenol Sinus/Allergy maximum strength. Yes, all at once. It may not work for you, but it's a lifesaver to my headaches. You could also consider going to see an allergy specialist. I hear they're pretty smart.
I'm sorry you're allergic to Athens. What an incentive to finish school and get out of there.
I call them eyeball hernias! Tumorysm is good, as well. Either way, it is AWFUL!
Several questions arose while reading your posting today. 1) Other than coughing and sneezing, why would you vigorously shake your head back and forth? 2) Do you really need to link us to Outback? I feel safe in assuming that anyone you are friends with is familiar with the gloriousness that is the Bloomin' Onion.
I just bought my first ever allergy medicine for Ryan...man that is an expensive affliction to have. I think they call that a double whammy?
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