Heart

Perhaps I should start by saying that this posting is not a tribute to Ann and Nancy Wilson. "Magic Man" is on my iPod and they are some rockin' ladies, but who am I to compete with VH1's "I Love the 70's"?

Heart. It is essential to life. And I'm not simply referring to the organ that beats as it pumps blood throughout the rest of the body. I'm also talking about determination and drive as well as experiencing emotion...heart. It's really quite a powerful thing if you think about it. Or maybe I'm the only one who thinks about these kinds of things. Maybe I'm just weird. Maybe I'll wonder about that another day and get back to my point...

I'm going to address the whole experiencing emotion component of heart because well I'm a girl and that's what we gals love to do, right? ...Sit around and talk about our feelings. Or I just like to think of it as sharing my heart. How is it that a heart filled with love and happiness and hope can also be broken with pain and hurt and despair? Sometimes simultaneously. What's a person to do when the storm clouds roll in and our parade is not just rained on, it's rained out? I've actually tried two different tactics.

During the first storm (involving a boy of all things) I completely ceased communication with God. What was the point of maintaining this relationship with Him, if I had prayed about something so fervently and remained in His will only to have that door slammed shut when things were rolling along great? As a result of allowing dust to collect on the cover of my Bible and gaining an extra couple hours of sleep on Sunday mornings, this little heart of mine began to harden and shrivel up like a raisin. And raisins are only cool if they are California Raisins. In the grand scheme of things it didn't take me very long to realize what was happening. Well, really when I was able to watch The Notebook without shedding a tear, I knew that something had to give. I wanted to experience emotion again in its rawest form not just for myself but for others as well. I believe that's what we are supposed to do: celebrate with the happy and mourn with the weary. So the prodigal daughter returned to her Father who just wrapped me up in love. Talk about filling the heart with emotion. Whew.

When the second storm came (almost losing my dad), I tried a different tactic. I clung to God and His promises. DISCLAIMER: I'm not sharing this to make me sound like I'm some great Christian who learned from her mistake the first time and was all prepared the next time. Not at all. There were days when dad was sick that I didn't have the energy to pray or even know what to pray, but during those first moments when I was all alone by myself in my apartment on a rainy Sunday night without the composure to drive safely, I had no choice but to cling to Him. Mom, my usual source of comfort, was performing CPR so needless to say she was a little tied up. When I finally stopped turning in circles in the middle of my floor, I knew I was going to be fine. I had no idea if my daddy was going to live and I had never in my life experienced such a scary uncertainty, but I was certain that God was with me and had no plans of leaving. And that simple fact alone is what got me through those next 5 weeks. That time my heart almost exploded with emotion.

Storms are inevitable. Jesus tells us that in John 16:33 when He said "...In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Heart...quite powerful indeed. And the healthier the heart (physically, spiritually, and emotionally), the healthier the body and more importantly...the soul.