Jerry Garcia called. He wants his rain boots back.

It seems that monsoon season has arrived here in The Classic City and not a moment too soon, might I add. With this rain, the pollen will clear for about 5 seconds and the lakes will rise to mud puddle level just in time for us to send the water West and South to our neighboring states. Because we're generous like that in Georgia. I digress.

Now all of this rain is well and good unless you happen to be the proud owner of an 11 month old Lab puppy whose hobbies include puddle plunging...

and rolling in grass...The good thing about water dogs is that they don't really mind getting wet when it's raining outside. The bad thing about high energy Labs is that they need lots and lots of exercise come hail or high water. Given that today is pay day, I decided to head on over to the local Target to pick up some of the super cute rain boots that I've seen while out and about. You know, the thing about rain boots is that they are the type of thing that you never really think to buy them until you need them. Which is also when most other people think to buy them. I arrived at Target only to find zilcho boots. So I decided to try Academy Sports next. Hello, it's a sports and outdoors store, they should be rain boot rich, right? Wrong. Well at least in the $19.99 price range. Not even Payless would be my source of shoes on this dreary day. I should probably mention here that while I was doing all of this shopping for rain boots my cowboy boots were getting wetter with each falling drop of rain. As a last resort I decided to try TJ Maxx or Steinmart and ended up in Steinmart for the sole fact that it was the closest to my car by the time I finally found a parking space. I wasn't really all that optimistic that I would have any luck there either because not only are rain boots functional, they are also a pretty big fashion trend. I apparently missed that segment of fashion week. So I remember as I'm walking into the store that it doesn't really have a shoe section. Whatever. As I'm casually milling around the purses, I happen to look a little to my left and see a whole display of rain boots. One pair happened to be in my size. I thought about waiting to see if Target would get a new shipment in tomorrow, but in reality tomorrow would not be soon enough. Instant Gratification! I needed it! Right! Then! So I pick them up and take them to the counter without even trying them on. As I'm walking up, I suddenly get a little embarrassed that I'm about to actually purchase these shoes. I mean, I pride myself in my taste of shoes. I have tons of shoes. [No, it doesn't matter that I only wear the same 4 sad pairs over and over again.] And I was about to purchase u-g-l-y with no alibi. I put them on the counter and proceed to explain to the girl working (who I thought to myself was super stylish and cute and probably even a Phi Mu...until I remembered that Phi Mu's at Georgia probably aren't working their way through college at the local Steinmart) that I had a dog who had to be walked and it was all about functionality at this point. In her mind she was probably thinking, "geez lady, act your age and not your shoe size and get some Dr. Scholl's rain boots why don'tcha?" I finally made it back home and decided to take them on a test drive. Of course I spent no less than 10 minutes picking out a "thrown together" outfit in the event cute British neighbor happened to see me outside walking my dog and decided to come chat. [And might I add that the extra time was not spent in vain.] So this afternoon, I learned that I don't mind walking the dog in the rain nearly as much when I can be pulled through a puddle with nary a concern about getting my socks and shoes wet. So here they are in all their glory...

Hideous? Yep. But functional nonetheless. And functional is what I was looking for when I made my purchase. It wasn't like I was going to wear them anywhere other than around the apartment complex anyway. Or so I thought. No less than 3 hours after purchasing these bad boys did I find myself in Publix wearing them along with cropped yoga pants and an old Phi Mu t-shirt. Apparently I had had one too many tokes on the peace pipe and forgot the oath that I made to always be presentable when out in public after people who I've never even met started recognizing me from reading my blog. I realize that you can't get the full effect of them in the above picture. Which is why I took this picture after getting home from the grocery store...
Now all I need is a few bears dancing in a line around my arm and I'll be set.