I've been humbled. Again. Sigh.
Of course humbling experiences make us better people in the long run because they build character and call for a new appreciation of what we have, blah blah blah. Let's be honest - We tell ourselves that stuff to make us feel better. Or at least I do because while I'm sure that there is good in these little helpings of humble pie that I am served every now and again, I don't particularly like them. Not One - Little - Bit. Why not, you ask? Because being humbled is uncomfortable for me. Even though I consider myself to be a pretty ok gal who follows the law and pays her bills and loves her God, family and country, these experiences force me to acknowledge my flaws. I'm up to like 4 now, by the way. (.... +4000)
Many of my humbling experiences have been obvious...like spotting a hunter's orange vest in the middle of the woods (sorry, Sarah Palin and the NRA on the brain). For example, the time I went to Mexico on a mission trip during college. I could create a whole blog based on that trip alone and how it changed my life, but to sum it up in one sentence: "Having things doesn't make us happy; it's having Jesus that leads to a joyful life." I witnessed this first-hand by living with a family for just a couple of days. When I came home and looked around at all my things that enable me to live a pretty cushy life I never felt more shallow.
Some of these experiences are much more subtle. They sneak up on me when I least expect it and totally catch me off guard. It's like the little angel on my right shoulder suddenly finds a megaphone and then decides to try it out. (Little angel, please use your inside voice!) It was this method of delivery that was used in yesterday's humbling experience. I was at home slaving away in the kitchen baking muffins for my class during my lunch hour because I forgot that it was my turn to take snacks to class. We work in groups online throughout the week and meet once per week in person as an entire class. Last night our group had to do a brief informal presentation, but the person in my group who was "in charge" was treating it as if it were a dissertation defense. (...says the self-professed perfectionist) So as I'm playing fetch with Cash, stirring up muffin batter and thinking about my 3:00 meeting at work, I'm also thinking to myself: "Gah, classmate just needs to slow his roll...This isn't for a grade or anything...Obviously it's his first semester back in school because he's so worked up about this." (...says the girl who would've given Mary Catherine Gallagher a run for her money during her very first semester back in school just 12 short months ago) Then came the voice from the megaphone...
How ungrateful of me. There are so many people in this world who would give anything for an opportunity to get an education and here I am devaluing mine and taking it completely for granted. Not only do I have the privilege of going for absolutely no cost, but I have also been blessed with the intelligence to succeed at this level of study. And while I have said multiple times how fortunate I am to go for free, yesterday was honestly the first time that I considered other barriers. So then I checked myself before I wrecked myself and took a moment to look at the same situation through a different lens. And I appreciated the efforts of the group member who went the extra mile for the team much more.
Then I thanked Jesus. I thanked Him for His love and the overabundance of things He has provided to me. And even though I would be much more "comfortable" without them, I thank Him for all the orange hunting vest and megaphone moments too.
No comments:
Post a Comment